Saturday, February 28, 2009

What a difference two years makes

The last two years of my life have been so amazing. Just two years ago I was in a horribly abusive marriage with no way to get out. I was scared shitless on a daily basis, was made to feel like the crap on my then husbands shoe, from now on the X will be known as LB-Loser Boy. The last two years of my marriage I had my daughter J sleep with me because I feared for her safety. Horrible things happened that to this day if I let my mind wander I go back to that point in time. I have literally woken up to see where I am at thinking I am at that place in my life. I am thankful I am not.

I am not sure what really gave me the courage to leave LB. I think that I just could not go on living my life the way I was. I was scared to go home, I wanted out and I knew that by not leaving I was teaching my girls that being in a abusive marriage was ok. When I left I basically left with the clothes on my back and some clothes for my children and of course baby pictures of them, but I was glad that I no longer had to fear for my life. I was glad that I was in control of my life, that I no longer let someone control who I spoke to, where I went and how much money I spent.

It was not an easy transition, very hard in fact, I was being stalked by him, he broke into my bank account, drove by at crazy hours at where I was staying, and I would get these crazy, scary text messages at all hours of the night. I was hardly sleeping and had no idea what to do about the situation, all I know was that I had to protect all of my children, most especially the child I had with him, J, AKA Boo. I tried being nice to him and that made him think that I wanted to get back with him, which was the farthest thing I ever wanted, when I tried being short and to the point that set him off the edge and I was scared, literally scared for my life. I finally think that he realized that I was not coming back to him and he would still stalk me but it got better, I did end up getting a protective order, and that worked for awhile, but when it was not renewed then he would stalk me via the internet, he has finally stopped, mainly because he has no idea where I do live and I have done everything to insure that he has no access to my child. I was very fortunate and was able to get sole custody of Boo and he only gets supervised visits which he has never used. I am very happy that he is indeed out of my life.

When I met the love of my life I was shocked that someone could be so amazing. At the time I met him I was done with men, I was content with just raising my girls and living my life. Then one day at work my computer broke and one of the techs came to fix it, lucky for me he had no idea what he was doing and it took him two days to do it. On the second day, the man of my dreams came, which he will be known as Prince Charming. We got to talking and I admit I was flirting, and I was immediately attracted to him but really I thought I had so much baggage that really who would want to go out with me? When he asked me out to lunch and I got there and we sat down I was just speechless, I felt sparks like I have never felt before and he felt the same way, as he told me later on.

I was just amazed at how well he treated me, even now he still treats me the same way. I honestly think that I need the following to make my life complete.
1) I need to go shopping (not every day but I need something pretty every once in awhile.)
2) I need to spend time with my girls and really talk to them and get some alone time with them.
3) I need to be told that I am pretty even when I am not feeling it.

Prince charming does this and daily. He gets me the way noone else ever has, he makes me happy and loved. He adores me and knows what I need when I need it. I also get him and noone ever has. Every single day we work at our relationship and it shows. I have never wanted something to work so much and neither has he.

I am just so vey glad that I was able to get out of the situation and move on and hopefully I have taught my daughters that there is a way out, I just wish that I had left years ago, but at least I can finally say that I left and am in a much better place.

Friday, February 27, 2009

My first post

Where do I begin? I never thought that I would have a blog, sure when I was younger I had a diary, but that was different, I was the only one who saw that, or so I had hoped, but this is for everyone to see. I guess I will introduce myself for anyone who actually read this, be warned, my life is pretty boring.

As you have gathered my name is Janet, I live in Florida with my children, ages 15, 13, and 5. I am getting remarried this June to the most amazing man I have ever met. He treats me like a princess and loves me the way that I have always wanted to be loved. He puts me first and treats my children wonderful.

I was working for the State and loved it, but because of the economy I lost my job and have not been able to find another one. I decided to go back to school and finally get my degree. I start in May and am really excited for the future.

Anyway, I look forward to posting more and hopefully my posts will not be as boring as this one.